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Wife: “I’m pregnant.”. Husband: “Hi pregnant, I’m dad.”. Wife: “No, you’re not.”. My marriage counselor asked if it was true that I generally wake up grumpy in the morning. I ...
1. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. 2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted. 3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid ...
Tooth-hurty. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected foul play. When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. What did one avocado say to the other? You guac my world. Corny Jokes. I ...
World's funniest joke. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. [ 1] Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had ...
Spawny Get – a boy whose initial apparent bad luck always turns into incredible fortune. Specky Twat – a boy who suffers bad vision, and wears thick glasses. He often mistakes things for something else. Spoilt Bastard – Real name: Timothy (Timmy) Timpson. A long-running and iconic VIZ strip featuring a horrible, fat, ungrateful and ...
Recurring jokes in. Private Eye. The fortnightly British satirical magazine Private Eye has long had a reputation for using euphemistic and irreverent substitute names and titles for people, groups and organisations and has coined a number of expressions to describe sex, drugs, alcohol and other aspects of human activity.
Funny Quotes. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”. — Garry Shandling. “People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys ...
Rheum from a cat's eyes. Rheum ( / ruːm /; from Greek: ῥεῦμα rheuma 'a flowing, rheum') is a thin mucus naturally discharged from the eyes, nose, or mouth, often during sleep (contrast with mucopurulent discharge ). [ 1][ 2][ 3] Rheum dries and gathers as a crust in the corners of the eyes or the mouth, on the eyelids, or under the nose ...